“I Just Need Five Minutes”: Why Moms Struggle to Rest
TL;DR: If rest feels impossible...even when you technically have time...it’s not just you. Motherhood is relentless, and the pressure to “do it all” runs deep. But you deserve more than survival mode. Therapy can help. Whether through weekly support or a deeper reset with therapy intensives in Ohio, you can learn to rest in a way that actually restores you. You’re not just tired. You might be burned out. But there's hope. You don't need to stay there.
You know that feeling. You finally get the kids down, the house is somewhat quiet, and all you can think is: I just need five minutes.
Five minutes to breathe.
Five minutes to not be needed.
Five minutes where no one is yelling "MOM, MOMMY, MA!"
But here’s the thing...sometimes even when you get those five minutes, your brain keeps spinning. The to-do list creeps back in. The guilt shows up. You sit down to rest, and it doesn’t feel like rest at all.
If you’ve ever wondered why rest feels so hard in motherhood, especially when you're desperate for it… you’re not alone.
Let’s talk about what’s going on underneath that exhaustion and how to actually recharge in a way that helps.
Why Rest Feels So Elusive for Moms
It’s not just the physical load of motherhood that wears us down, it’s the mental and emotional load. You're managing snack needs, sibling fights, meal planning, daycare drop-offs, work deadlines, doctor appointments, and somehow trying to remember that your own birthday is coming up.
Even when the house is quiet, your brain isn’t. And that’s a big part of why rest doesn’t feel restorative.
And if you were taught that rest has to be earned? Forget it.
Many moms were raised in environments where being “good” meant being productive. If you’re not actively doing something, there’s guilt. Guilt for the dishes in the sink. Guilt for screen time. Guilt for being touched out or irritable or not soaking up every single moment.
So even when you can rest, it’s hard to allow yourself to fully relax. Your body is still holding the stress. Your mind is still racing.
“I Don’t Have Time to Rest”
You might be thinking, Cool, but I literally don’t have time.
You’re juggling work (paid or unpaid), parenting, relationships, and a million invisible tasks. It feels like there’s no margin. And the minute you create some, someone inevitably yells from the bathroom that they need help wiping.
But here’s the truth: Rest doesn’t always mean a spa day or an uninterrupted afternoon nap.
Rest is any moment where your body, mind, or nervous system gets a break.
Yes, we’re aiming for bigger chunks of true restoration but even tiny moments of pause can make a real difference when they’re done with intention.
What Happens When You Never Recharge
When you push through without rest for too long, you stop feeling like yourself. You get snappy. Detached. Resentful. Your memory gets fuzzy. You dread the sound of your kids’ voices even though you love them more than anything in the world.
This isn’t just tired...it’s burnout.
And as a therapist for moms in Columbus, Ohio, I want you to know: This is common. But it’s not your forever. I promise.
5 Realistic Ways to Rest (Even When You're in the Thick of It)
1. Schedule “Nothing” Time
Literally put it on your calendar. A 15-minute block where nothing is expected of you. No chores. No calls. Just being. Sit. Stare out the window. Breathe. Do nothing...on purpose.
2. Pick One Sensory Thing That Calms You
Maybe it’s lighting a candle. Sitting in the sun. Listening to a specific song. When you’re overstimulated and tired, grounding yourself in one calm sensory experience can help reset your nervous system.
3. Close Your Eyes for 3 Minutes
Even if your kids are playing (read: screaming/arguing) in the other room. Three minutes of closed eyes and slow breathing can regulate your nervous system enough to give you a second wind.
4. Say No to Something Small
Rest is also about boundaries. Say no to the extra playdate. Let the laundry sit. You don’t have to do it all today.
5. Let Rest Look Messy
Rest doesn’t have to be quiet or perfect. Sometimes it’s hiding in the bathroom (or the closet) with a snack. Sometimes it’s giving the kids a movie and zoning out with your own favorite show on your phone. Sometimes it’s texting a friend “I’m drowning” and feeling seen.
Why Therapy Can Help Moms Actually Rest
A lot of moms I work with say things like:
“Even when I get a break, I can’t relax.”
“I feel guilty if I’m not being productive.”
“I don’t know who I am outside of doing for others.”
This is where therapy for mothers can be life-changing. Because it’s not just about managing your schedule, it’s about understanding the beliefs driving your burnout.
In therapy intensives, we take the time to unpack that guilt. That pressure to prove yourself. The trauma or conditioning that makes you feel like rest = laziness.
Therapy can help you not just talk about rest, but actually experience it. Deep, healing rest. The kind that reconnects you to you.
You Might Need More Than Just a Break
Sometimes rest doesn’t work because your body is in survival mode.
If you've been running on empty for months...or even years...what you really need might be a reset, not just a nap.
That’s what therapy intensives offer. A pause from the noise. A space where you can exhale. Where your nervous system gets the care it deserves.
Moms come to intensives and leave saying:
“I feel like myself again.”
“I had no idea how much I was carrying.”
“I can breathe easier now.”
“Life feels more manageable.”
I promise you, mama, there is hope. You were never meant to do all this without rest. Support is here when you're ready.
