Why Moms Are Tired of Pretending They’re Fine
TLDR:
Many moms say they’re “fine” when they’re actually exhausted, overstimulated, or burned out. High-functioning motherhood can hide nervous system overload and emotional depletion. Therapy for mothers, including therapy intensives in Ohio, can help untangle burnout, reduce overwhelm, and create space to stop pretending and start feeling supported.
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“I’m fine.”
It’s the most automatic sentence in motherhood.
You say it at school pickup.
You say it in text threads.
You say it when someone asks how you’re doing and you have exactly 14 seconds to answer.
“I’m fine.”
But a lot of moms aren’t fine.
They’re functioning.
They’re managing.
They’re keeping things moving.
But fine? Not exactly. And something is shifting. More moms are quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, tired of pretending.
The High-Functioning Mask
Many millennial moms are very good at looking okay.
We can pack lunches, respond to emails, schedule dentist appointments, coordinate playdates, and show up to work meetings without missing a beat. We can host, volunteer, remember birthdays, and still make it to the gym twice a week.
We look fine.
But underneath that steady exterior is often a nervous system running on fumes.
You can be high-functioning and overwhelmed at the same time.
You can be productive and depleted.
You can be grateful and burned out.
As a therapist for moms, I hear this all the time: “Nothing is really wrong. I’m just… tired.”
That “just tired” often carries more than anyone realizes.
We Were Raised to Handle It
Millennial women were raised to be capable.
Be responsible.
Be independent.
Don’t need too much.
Figure it out.
Many of us were the good girls. The high achievers. The ones who didn’t cause problems. The ones who could carry a lot without complaining.
(I wrote more about this in last week's blog post.)
So when motherhood feels heavy, the reflex isn’t to say, “This is too much.”
The reflex is to try harder.
To organize better.
To optimize.
To squeeze even more into the day.
And when that still doesn’t make it feel lighter, we assume it’s a personal flaw.
The World Doesn’t Feel Calm
We’re parenting in a time that feels loud.
Constant news. Constant crisis alerts. Constant social media comparison. Economic pressure. Cultural tension. Endless information.
The mental load doesn’t stop at your household. It extends to the state of the world.
And when you’re the emotional regulator for your children (and sometimes your spouse), the weight of everything can feel amplified.
You’re not just managing bedtime.
You’re managing the emotional tone of your entire home.
Of course that’s exhausting.
The Cost of Pretending
Pretending you’re fine isn’t neutral.
It requires energy.
It means swallowing irritation.
Downplaying resentment.
Minimizing overwhelm.
Laughing off exhaustion.
Over time, that suppression catches up.
It can show up as:
irritability that surprises you
snapping at small things
feeling numb instead of connected
difficulty sleeping
a sense that you’re slowly disappearing
It’s not drama. It’s depletion.
Why It Feels Hard to Admit You’re Not Fine
Because somewhere along the way, many moms learned that being overwhelmed equals weakness.
That needing help equals failure.
That good moms are grateful moms.
And gratitude is important. But gratitude and burnout can coexist.
You can love your children deeply and still feel stretched thin.
You can be thankful for your life and still need support.
Admitting you’re not fine doesn’t make you ungrateful.
Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Dramatic
As a therapist in Ohio providing mental health support for burnout, I see this pattern constantly.
Burnout in mothers doesn’t always look like a breakdown.
Sometimes it looks like functioning on autopilot.
You’re doing everything but you don’t feel much...or you feel too much.
You’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix. A deep mental exhaustion.
And when someone asks how you are, it feels easier to say “fine” than to try to explain something that feels invisible.
The “Fine” That Hides Everything
There’s a version of fine that means:
I don’t want to be a burden.
I don’t have time to unpack this.
I’m not sure I’m allowed to feel this.
Other moms probably have it harder.
Comparison keeps the mask in place.
So does productivity.
So does fear of judgment.
But constantly pretending keeps you disconnected from yourself.
What Happens When Moms Stop Pretending
Here’s what I’ve noticed in therapy for mothers:
The moment a mom says, “Actually… I’m not fine,” something shifts.
Her shoulders drop.
Her voice softens.
There’s literal relief in not performing.
Through therapy or therapy intensives, including therapy intensives in Ohio, many moms begin to untangle:
What burnout actually is
What nervous system overload is
What expectations aren’t sustainable
What boundaries are overdue
Not to become less capable, but to become more honest.
You Don’t Have to Earn Support
You don’t need to hit a breaking point.
You don’t need a dramatic story.
You don’t need to prove you’re struggling “enough.”
If you’re tired of pretending you’re fine, that’s reason enough.
Therapy with a therapist who understands motherhood, burnout, and the cultural pressure millennial women carry can create space to exhale.
Space where “I’m not fine” isn’t judged.
Final Thoughts
Moms are tired of pretending.
Tired of minimizing.
Tired of powering through.
Tired of smiling when what they really need is rest.
If you’ve been saying “I’m fine” but feeling anything but, you’re not dramatic. You’re human.
If you’re looking for therapy in Columbus, Ohio, or support from a therapist for moms who understands burnout and emotional overload, help is available.
You’re allowed to tell the truth about how you’re actually doing.
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✨ Not sure if you’re burned out or just tired?
Take my quick Burnout Quiz for Moms to find out where you are on the burnout spectrum and what kind of support might help you feel more grounded again.
It only takes a few minutes and it’s a gentle first step toward feeling lighter and more like yourself.
👉Click here
