When Adult Friendships Feel Hard: The Loneliness of Motherhood (and How to Make Real Connections Again)
Let’s be honest. Making friends as a mom is awkward. It’s like dating, but with diaper bags and goldfish crackers in your purse. You smile at someone at the playground, make small talk about nap schedules, maybe even swap numbers, only to have the momentum fizzle into ghosted texts and “we should hang out sometime” that never happens.
Meanwhile, you’re craving more than just another “hey mama” DM. You want real friendship. The kind where you can say, “I love my kids, but they’re driving me up the wall,” and the other person doesn’t judge—you both just laugh and pass the coffee.
But what no one talks about enough is how hard it feels when those friendships don’t exist. Or when they do, but they’ve changed. Or when it feels like you’re surrounded by people but still lonely.
If that’s you? You’re not broken. You’re not weird. And you’re definitely not the only one.
As a Columbus, Ohio therapist who works with mothers in all stages of life, I see this all the time. In fact, it’s one of the top unspoken struggles that comes up during therapy intensives in Ohio and weekly sessions alike. So let’s name it. Normalize it. And talk about what to do when you feel alone—even when you’re never physically alone.
Why Mom Friendships Feel So Complicated
You’d think that motherhood would bond people naturally. And sometimes, it does. But often? It exposes differences. It highlights insecurities. It triggers comparison. It digs up old wounds around belonging, rejection, and identity.
Here’s why it might feel so hard:
You’re emotionally spent. After a full day of decision fatigue, bedtime chaos, and toddler negotiations, the idea of being “on” for a new friend can feel exhausting.
Schedules are wild. Someone’s always napping, working, at soccer, or sick. Aligning calendars can feel like launching a rocket.
You’ve changed. The person you were pre-kids might not be who you are now. That can make old friendships feel strained and new ones hard to start.
You don’t want surface-level. “How are you?” texts don’t cut it. You want the kind of connection where you can send an unfiltered voice memo about how your morning imploded and the other person gets it.
Sound familiar? Welcome to modern motherhood.
Loneliness Isn’t Just Sad, It’s Exhausting
This kind of loneliness isn’t just about wanting company. It’s about wanting to feel known. To feel like someone sees you, not just as a mom, but as a full person.
It’s about:
Feeling like the default parent and like no one else really gets what that means
Craving adult conversation but not knowing where to find it
Seeing other moms post about their girls’ nights or beach trips and wondering why you weren’t invited (or why you don’t have anyone to invite)
Missing the version of you who used to laugh more, text more, connect more
Loneliness hits harder when you’re already tired. Already stretched. Already wondering if you’re doing enough.
When It Brings Up Old Wounds
Motherhood has a way of shining a spotlight on every unresolved emotional bruise.
Maybe you were always the “quiet one” or the outsider growing up, and you thought adulthood would be different.
Maybe you were burned by friendships in the past and now feel wary of getting too close.
Maybe you’ve tried, really tried, to make connections, but they never seem to stick.
That emotional pain is real. And for a lot of moms I work with, it gets tangled up with stress, shame, and burnout.
Sometimes what we label as “burnout” is really a deep, unmet need for community and belonging. Therapy for mothers can help unpack that. And if you’re in crisis or carrying years of invisible hurt, therapy intensives in Ohio can offer a powerful reset.
Why Therapy Often Comes First
Here’s what I see often: moms trying to build community from a place of depletion. They’re longing for connection but too fried to initiate. Or they try and it feels hollow, because what they really need is emotional safety.
Therapy isn’t just about talking. It’s about building a foundation of safety inside yourself so you’re not constantly looking for external validation to feel okay.
That’s especially true in the work we do during therapy intensives, where we can go deep, quickly, and start untangling the root of the disconnection.
If you’ve been feeling:
Chronically unseen or misunderstood
Numb or apathetic toward friendships
Hyper-sensitive to rejection or exclusion
Triggered by other people’s closeness
…you might not be “bad at friendship.” You might be carrying hurt that hasn’t had a place to land.
Small Steps to Rebuild Your Village (Even If You’re Introverted, Exhausted, or Socially Anxious)
You don’t need a squad of 10. You need one or two people you can be real with. Here are some ideas to help:
1. Lead With Realness
Skip the “perfect mom” script. Try:
“I’ve had a week. Anyone else feel like a human sippy cup?”
“Would love to get coffee, even if it’s with a toddler in tow and zero makeup.”
Real invites real.
2. Revisit People You Already Know
Sometimes the best connections are dormant, not gone. Scroll your messages. Anyone you drifted from but miss? A simple “Hey, I was just thinking about you” can open a door.
3. Join a Space That Aligns With Your Values
Book clubs, local mom groups, or even therapy groups can be powerful. Look for spaces that feel emotionally safe, not performative.
4. Let Go of the Pressure to “Find Your Person” Right Away
Friendship takes time. Give it room to grow awkwardly. Every deep connection starts with a slightly forced conversation.
5. Notice How You Feel Around People
Do you feel drained, or energized? Seen, or small? Your nervous system often knows before your brain does. Trust it.
How Therapy Intensives Can Help
If you’re feeling stuck in cycles of loneliness, rejection, or insecurity, therapy intensives in Ohio offer something different than traditional talk therapy.
Instead of stretching healing over months of 50-minute sessions, intensives allow you to:
Process deep-rooted beliefs about friendship, trust, and self-worth
Use EMDR to clear out old relational wounds
Create new internal safety so you can connect without fear of abandonment
As a Columbus, Ohio therapist, I’ve watched moms go from “no one gets me” to “I feel like myself again,” just by giving themselves the space to be seen and supported.
If This Is You, Listen Up
If you’ve been sitting with this ache, scrolling past group photos and wondering if something’s wrong with you, please hear this:
You’re not broken. You’re not too much or not enough.
You’re a mom who’s trying to do life without a village, and that’s not how it was meant to be. No wonder it feels heavy.
You deserve more than surface-level check-ins. You deserve real, nourishing connection.
And if you’re not sure where to start, therapy can be that place.
Whether it’s weekly support or a therapy intensive in Ohio, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Because friendship in motherhood shouldn’t feel impossible. And healing, real lasting healing, is always possible.
