Why Can’t I Just Get Over My Birth Trauma? A Columbus, Ohio Therapist Explains
This blog post explores how birth trauma often lingers far beyond delivery—and why well-meaning comments from others can unintentionally make things worse. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why does my birth still bother me?”…this post is for you.
Birth trauma isn’t just about what happened medically. It’s about how your body and brain processed it. Trauma is anything that was too much, too fast, or too soon - and not enough support to recover.
You might’ve been told, “But your baby is healthy!” Or maybe you’ve heard, “You just have to move on.” But those phrases - however well-intended - can shut down conversations and deepen the isolation moms already feel.
Let’s talk about what birth trauma really looks like. What not to say to someone navigating it. And how therapy for mothers - especially therapy intensives in Ohio - can help you heal for real.
What Birth Trauma Can Actually Look Like
Birth trauma doesn’t always look the way people imagine it. It’s not always emergency C-sections or catastrophic outcomes (though it can be). It can also be:
Feeling powerless or ignored during labor
Medical interventions that happened too fast to process
Pain that was minimized or dismissed
Panic attacks during delivery
Not feeling bonded to your baby right away
Feeling like your body betrayed you
Feeling unsafe, overwhelmed, or confused at any point in the experience
And it doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. The effects of birth trauma can ripple out for months—or even years.
Other signs of unresolved birth trauma:
Constantly seeking control in motherhood
Being over-controlling with routines or others
Difficulty trusting yourself, your body, or medical providers
Avoiding medical appointments (even for things like dental cleanings)
Smells or sounds that trigger anxiety or panic
Feeling trapped or overwhelmed in seemingly neutral situations
Health anxiety or fear that something bad will happen to your baby
Hypervigilance around your baby’s health, sleep, or breathing
Fear of being alone, especially with baby
Intense reactions to hearing about others’ birth stories
Guilt or shame that you’re “still not over it”
These responses aren’t dramatic. They’re your nervous system’s way of saying: something happened, and I don’t feel safe yet.
Why Well-Meaning People Sometimes Make It Worse
If you’ve experienced birth trauma, you may have heard things like:
“At least your baby is healthy.”
“That’s just how birth is.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You should be grateful.”
“Just focus on the positives.”
“Other people have it worse.”
These statements are usually meant to comfort, but they often do the opposite.
They shut down real emotions. They make moms feel like they’re broken for struggling. And they bypass the very real experience of trauma.
Here’s the truth: You can be grateful for your baby and deeply impacted by how they came into the world. Those two things can exist at the same time.
Some people lash out or minimize because they’re uncomfortable with your pain - or because your story brushes up against their own unresolved stuff.
And yes, sometimes people—especially older generations—might not understand. You might get criticism or passive-aggressive comments from your own parents or in-laws, which just makes it harder to feel emotionally safe around them. That’s real. And painful. And not your fault.
Why You Can’t Just “Get Over It”
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just get over this?”—here’s why:
Because your body still thinks it’s happening.
Trauma gets stored in the nervous system. Until it’s processed, your brain and body may stay stuck in survival mode—long after the danger has passed.
That’s why you might:
Feel on edge for no clear reason
Cry when you walk past a hospital
Feel your heart race during OB appointments
Struggle with rage or overwhelm when your baby cries
These aren’t character flaws. They’re nervous system responses.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Healing doesn’t mean erasing what happened. It means integrating it—so it no longer hijacks your body, your thoughts, or your joy.
And for many moms, that starts with finding the right kind of support.
As a Columbus, Ohio therapist, I work with women every week who are navigating birth trauma. Some choose weekly therapy. Others opt for therapy intensives in Ohio to go deeper, faster.
What’s a Therapy Intensive?
A therapy intensive is like pressing pause on the chaos of daily life so you can finally tend to what’s beneath the surface.
In a half-day or full-day intensive, we:
Process your birth story (at your pace)
Use somatic tools to help your body feel safe again
Explore EMDR to reprocess trauma memories
Make space for grief, rage, fear, and relief
Create personalized tools for calming your nervous system
No interruptions. No pretending. Just you, supported.
What to Say Instead: Supporting Someone With Birth Trauma
If you love someone who’s navigating birth trauma, here’s how you can show up:
“That sounds really hard. I’m here to listen.”
“You don’t have to be over it. You get to feel what you feel.”
“You’re not crazy. What you went through matters.”
“Do you want to talk about it, or just be together?”
“You’re doing an amazing job. And you deserve support too.”
Sometimes the best support isn’t advice—it’s presence.
Gentle Reminders for Moms Holding Birth Trauma
If this post feels like it was written for you, here’s what I want you to remember:
Your trauma is real—even if others don’t understand it.
You’re not weak for being impacted. You’re human.
You’re not stuck. You can heal.
You don’t have to minimize it.
You don’t have to justify it.
You don’t have to “get over it” on someone else’s timeline.
Ready for Real Support?
You don’t have to carry this alone. Whether your birth was a month ago or ten years ago, it’s never too late to heal.
As a therapist in Ohio specializing in therapy for mothers, I offer both weekly sessions and therapy intensives in Columbus.
If you’re craving space to unpack your story, reconnect with yourself, and move forward without the weight of trauma—I’d love to support you.
Learn more about therapy intensives in Ohio [insert link] or reach out here [insert contact info].
Because your healing matters. You matter. And there is nothing too small, too big, or too far gone to bring into the therapy room.
