Why Am I the Only One Who Notices We’re Out of Toilet Paper? The Mental Load of Motherhood—and How Therapy Can Help
There are few moments in life more humbling than realizing, mid-squat, that no one in your house but you thought to buy more toilet paper.
It’s almost comical—almost—how often moms are the only ones keeping track of the 4,792 tiny details that hold a household together. You know what I mean. You're the keeper of the grocery list, the birthday party RSVPs, the pediatrician appointments, the sock inventory, the school snack rotation, the favorite stuffed animal's whereabouts, and the number of days it’s been since someone washed their hair. And yet somehow, you're also expected to function like a normal adult with hobbies, goals, and a full-time job.
Welcome to the mental load of motherhood.
And if you’ve ever thought, “I love my kids, but I’m drowning,” you’re not alone—and you're not broken. You're carrying more than most people can see.
What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load refers to the cognitive effort involved in managing a household and family life. It’s the constant thinking, planning, anticipating, remembering, and worrying. It’s the reason why your partner can relax on the couch and enjoy the movie, while your brain is mentally sorting tomorrow’s schedule and wondering whether that rash on your toddler’s leg means something.
It’s why you’re so tired all the time—even when you technically “haven’t done that much.” And it’s also why so many moms end up in therapy, not because they’re failing, but because they’ve been functioning too well for too long without support.
It’s Not Just a Busy Schedule—It’s a Heavy Emotional Load
Here’s the thing that makes this so hard: the mental load isn’t just a list of chores. It’s emotional.
You’re not just thinking “We’re out of milk.” You’re thinking:
Will my child eat breakfast without a meltdown if we’re out of milk?
What does it say about me as a mom that I forgot to buy milk?
I should have prepped better—ugh, why can’t I get it together?
If I ask my partner to grab it, will it start another fight?
It’s not just the physical act of managing the household—it’s the invisible emotional labor of making everyone else’s life run smoothly, while your own needs fall to the bottom of the list. That’s the real weight. And it’s why therapy for mothers is so needed.
Signs You’re Carrying Too Much (and It’s Time to Offload)
Sometimes, we normalize the overwhelm. But if you’ve caught yourself doing any of the following, it might be a sign you’re over-capacity:
Snapping over small things that normally wouldn’t bother you
Feeling resentful at your partner (or everyone)
Crying in the pantry (no judgment)
Losing track of your thoughts constantly
Feeling touched out, burned out, and checked out
Fantasizing about a silent hotel room with blackout curtains and no responsibilities
Sound familiar? You’re not a bad mom. You’re just maxed out.
Why Moms Struggle to Ask for Help
A lot of moms know they’re overwhelmed… and still don’t reach out for support. Why?
Because we’ve been conditioned to think exhaustion is a sign of love. That martyrdom is just part of motherhood. That if we were “better at this,” we wouldn’t need help.
And that is a lie. A dangerous one. Because motherhood shouldn’t come at the cost of your well-being. And being strong doesn’t mean never needing support. It means knowing when you do.
What Mom Therapy Can Actually Look Like
Let’s be real—going to therapy doesn’t mean you lie on a couch talking about your childhood (unless you want to).
It can mean carving out one hour a week where someone else is holding space for you. Not your kids. Not your partner. Not your boss. You.
You get to:
Say how tired you really are
Talk about the rage you sometimes feel and the guilt that follows
Explore why you feel like everything is your job
Practice setting boundaries and asking for what you need
Learn tools to quiet the mental chaos and come back to yourself
Mom therapy is a place where you’re allowed to be a full person—not just someone else’s everything.
EMDR Therapy in Columbus: A Deeper Level of Support
If you’ve heard of EMDR therapy and thought “Isn’t that for trauma?”—yes. But trauma isn’t just big, catastrophic events. It’s also the slow drip of stress, perfectionism, emotional neglect, or growing up without space to express your needs.
A lot of moms show up in therapy saying:
“Nothing terrible happened to me... but I’m always on edge.”
“I can’t relax. I’m always bracing for something to go wrong.”
“I feel like I have to earn rest.”
This is where EMDR therapy in Columbus Ohio can be incredibly helpful. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps process stuck emotional responses in the brain—so you can feel lighter, more regulated, and less reactive.
It’s not magic. But it can feel magical.
Many moms report feeling:
Less triggered by their kids’ meltdowns
Calmer even during stressful weeks
More connected to themselves and their values
More grounded and resilient
And most importantly—like themselves again.
You Deserve to Feel Supported—Not Just Surviving
We don’t talk about this enough, but thriving in motherhood takes support, not more hustle.
If you’re tired of doing it all, remembering it all, holding it all together… it might be time to let someone help you unpack what you’ve been carrying.
Whether you’re looking for mom therapy, general therapy for mothers, or interested in trying EMDR therapy in Columbus, know this:
You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to need things.
And no, you’re not the only one who sees we’re out of toilet paper—but you shouldn’t be the only one doing something about it either.
If you’re a mom in Columbus, Ohio looking for support, I’m here to help. My practice specializes in EMDR therapy, perfectionism, anxiety, and burnout recovery for women—especially mothers who are tired of holding it all together.
Let’s take something off your plate.
