Things No One Warned Me Would Be So Hard as a New Parent
You can read all the books, take all the classes, and scroll every parenting expert on Instagram—but nothing truly prepares you for what it feels like to actually become a parent. Not just the obvious stuff, like the sleepless nights and blowouts—but the weird, relentless ways motherhood sneaks into every corner of your life. Your body. Your brain. Your relationships. Your sense of self.
And here’s the thing no one says out loud: it’s okay if you’re struggling. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re doing something really hard without nearly enough support.
This post is for the moms who’ve ever sat in the dark at 3 AM whispering, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
The Hard That No One Talks About
You probably braced yourself for some exhaustion. Maybe you even expected to feel overwhelmed at times. But these are the parts of new motherhood that often blindside us:
1. Feeling Lonely (Even When You’re Never Alone)
You’re physically surrounded by your baby all day—but emotionally? It can feel like you’re on an island. Your friends don’t text like they used to. Adult conversations are rare. The walls feel closer. The silence is loud.
2. Your Brain Never Turns Off
Even when your body is still, your mind is spinning: Is the baby hungry? Did they nap long enough? Are they hitting milestones? Are you doing enough? The mental load is instant, invisible, and absolutely exhausting.
3. You Start Missing… You
You might love being a mom—and still really miss the version of you who wasn’t constantly needed, touched, and interrupted. That’s not selfish. That’s human.
4. You Love Your Partner… but Also? You Kind of Resent Them
It’s not always fair, and it’s not always logical, but the resentment can sneak in. Maybe it’s the way they sleep through nighttime feedings. Maybe it’s how they don’t feel the pressure to remember everything. Either way, it can feel heavy.
5. The Emotions Don’t Always Settle Down After 6 Weeks
Just because your OB clears you at six weeks doesn’t mean your anxiety or sadness disappears. Postpartum emotions are real—and they can linger.
6. Guilt, Like You've Never Known It
You’ll feel guilty for needing a break. For taking the break. For loving it. For not loving it. For doing too much. For doing too little. It’s a full-time job, trying to feel okay.
7. The Pressure to Be the Perfect Mom
Every decision feels monumental. Pacifier or not? Sleep train or co-sleep? Homemade purées or pouches? Everyone has an opinion, and somehow they all contradict each other.
If any of this hits close to home: you're not broken. You're not doing it wrong. You're just carrying a whole lot.
This Might Be Burnout (Not Just Fatigue)
Burnout isn’t just being tired—it’s being done. It’s when your nerves feel fried, your patience is gone, and you’re running on fumes. If you:
Snap more than you’d like
Feel constantly on edge
Cry in the bathroom (or wish you could cry but feel numb instead)
Fantasize about disappearing for a weekend (or a year)
Feel like a stranger in your own body
…you might not just be overwhelmed. You might be burned out.
Where Real Support Comes In
Let’s talk about therapy for mothers. Not the kind where you have to dig up your deepest pain during a rushed 50-minute session while wondering if your baby will nap long enough—but the kind that actually helps you exhale.
As a Columbus, Ohio therapist, I work with moms in the thick of it—whether that’s postpartum overwhelm, burnout, anxiety, or just the messy reality of trying to hold it all together. One of the most powerful tools I offer? Therapy intensives in Ohio.
How Therapy Intensives Can Help
Weekly therapy is great. But sometimes it feels like trying to fix a dam with a roll of duct tape. A therapy intensive gives you uninterrupted time to:
Process your birth story or postpartum experience
Grieve the parts of motherhood you didn’t expect
Make space for resentment, rage, guilt, and love to all exist
Learn tools to calm your nervous system in real time
You don’t have to squeeze it in between feedings or hide it behind a brave face. You get space. Real space. And real support.
What Happens in a Therapy Intensive?
It’s not a bootcamp. It’s not a lecture. It’s a warm, supportive container to be with what’s been bubbling under the surface.
That might look like:
Somatic tools to calm your body when words aren’t enough
EMDR to heal old wounds that are resurfacing now that you're a parent
Honest conversations about guilt, rage, and grief
Deep rest—not just sleep, but emotional exhale
You don’t need to change everything. You just need some space to come home to you.
Tiny Things That Can Help
1. 10-Second Transitions
Before switching tasks, give yourself ten seconds. Close your eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Remind yourself: you’re not behind. You’re human.
2. Hide in the Bathroom (Seriously!)
Take 2 minutes. Splash cold water. Stretch. Let your nervous system know: we’re safe. We’re okay.
3. Ditch the “Shoulds”
There is no right way to parent. There is only your way. Unfollow accounts that make you feel like you’re not doing enough.
4. Say “Yes” to Help (or at Least Stop Saying No)
You don’t need to be a hero. Let someone hold the baby. Let someone drop off dinner. Let yourself rest without guilt.
5. Remember: This Is a Season
The fog lifts. The sleep returns. The version of you who feels lost? She’s still in there. She’s waiting to be cared for, too.
Let’s Lighten the Load Together
If you’re reading this and nodding (or crying), please know: you are not alone. And you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through this.
Whether you’re dealing with postpartum overwhelm, burnout, or the slow erosion of your identity, I’m here. I’m a therapist in Ohio, and I offer therapy intensives in Columbus that are created for moms—by someone who actually gets it.
You’re allowed to ask for more support.
You’re allowed to say, “this is harder than I thought.”
And you’re allowed to come home to yourself again.
Learn more about therapy intensives in Ohio and how we can work together.
Because you deserve care, too. Not just as a mom. But as a whole person.
